Man can think and because of that lives in a world defined by ideas, concepts, ideals, abstractions and many other products of thought. Things are experienced for what they are thought to be, or ought to be, and many aspects of what actually just is, are dismissed.
In relationships, the pattern of how things should be often overshadows the experience of what is. Many decisions and actions are based on how these relate to some ideal. One endures because of what is right, what will be the long term outcome. The other or oneself has to fit a template: of a relationship, a lover, a soulmate. Not what is.
I see what you mean. But sometimes is 'what is' not what you wanted, not because of pre conceived ideas but because your life takes turns which are most unpleasant.
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